What can I do if my child has a tantrum in public?
We have all been there! When your child has a tantrum in public, it can be stressful, especially when you feel like others are watching and judging. If fact, the watching and judging is what makes this situation so challenging. However, the key to handling these moments lies in focusing on what your child needs, rather than worrying about the onlookers.
First, try to prevent tantrums by anticipating your child’s triggers. Whether it’s hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation, knowing these triggers can help you avoid situations that might overwhelm your child. That said, tantrums are an inevitable part of childhood, especially in unfamiliar or overwhelming environments.
When a tantrum does happen, it’s natural to feel embarrassed or anxious about how others might perceive you. But rather than letting these feelings dictate your response, take a moment to acknowledge them and then shift your focus entirely to your child. So, instead of reacting out of embarrassment, think about what will help your child calm down in the moment.
Children often need comfort, redirection, or even sensory support when they’re upset. Offer soothing words, a gentle touch, or a distraction like a favourite toy. If possible, move to a quieter area where your child can calm down. It’s crucial to remain patient and calm (easier said than done – but it comes with practice!), as your emotional state can either escalate or de-escalate the situation.
Finally, remind yourself that tantrums are a normal part of childhood and that every parent experiences them. Block out the pressure of judgement from others and stay focused on helping your child navigate their big feelings.
About the author
Amanda Abel is a paediatric psychologist, mum, and founder of Northern Centre for Child Development (NCCD) and Hawthorn Centre for Child Development (HCCD) – multidisciplinary paediatric practices in Melbourne. Working directly and indirectly with hundreds of clients each year, Amanda’s mission is for every child to achieve their best outcomes by equipping families and educators with the tools they need to help kids thrive.
Amanda draws on her own experiences of being a parent along with her extensive training and well-honed skill set to get families thriving. Having worked with families for almost two decades, as a psychologist for the past 11 years in a variety of settings, and a valued board member of the Autism Behavioural Intervention Association, Amanda loves building the confidence of the adults in the lives of children so that they can connect meaningfully, help them reach their full potential, and live a life that reflects their values.
Often appearing on Channel 7 and 9 News and regularly featuring in print media, Amanda is on a mission to make the world better for kids through her clinical work, consulting to some of the biggest global toy manufacturers and educating the digital media industry about making the internet safer for kids.
Photo by Tatiana Syrikova
