Expert Opinion

How can I help my child handle peer pressure?

16 Apr
Even at a young age, children will come across social dynamics that can shape their behaviours and decisions. So it does help to teach your child how to handle peer pressure as this sets the stage for them to navigate these interactions with confidence as they grow older.

 

Start by helping your child understand their own feelings and preferences. Encourage them to express what they do and don’t like during playtime or other activities. For example, if they don’t want to share a toy at a certain moment, acknowledge their feelings and discuss some solutions. By validating their emotions, you help them develop a strong sense of self, which is key to resisting influence from others.

 

Role-playing can be a powerful tool to prepare your child for peer interactions – in particular in teaching them how to stand up for themselves. Act out simple scenarios where another child might encourage them to do something they’re unsure about, such as jumping off a high step or giving up their turn on the swing. Practice responses like saying “No, thank you” or suggesting an alternative, like “Let’s play together instead.” You can act these out, or use soft toys, dolls or figurines to role play the scenarios – choosing a method that your child is interested in will increase their motivation to engage in the activity, and thus increase their learning.

Model assertive but kind behaviour in your own interactions. When children see you politely but firmly setting boundaries, they’re more likely to mimic those behaviours. For instance, if someone asks you to do something you can’t accommodate, explain calmly why it’s not possible and offer a compromise. This teaches your child that it’s okay to say no while maintaining positive relationships.

 

Encourage friendships with children who share similar values and play styles. Arrange playdates with kids whose interactions you’ve observed to be respectful and cooperative. Positive peer experiences reinforce the idea that relationships can be supportive rather than pressuring.

 

Equipping your child with these skills early helps them build the resilience to handle peer pressure, laying the groundwork for healthier social relationships in the future.

About the author

Amanda Abel is a paediatric psychologist, mum, and founder of Northern Centre for Child Development (NCCD) and Hawthorn Centre for Child Development (HCCD) – multidisciplinary paediatric practices in Melbourne. Working directly and indirectly with hundreds of clients each year, Amanda’s mission is for every child to achieve their best outcomes by equipping families and educators with the tools they need to help kids thrive.
Amanda draws on her own experiences of being a parent along with her extensive training and well-honed skill set to get families thriving. Having worked with families for almost two decades, as a psychologist for the past 11 years in a variety of settings, and a valued board member of the Autism Behavioural Intervention Association, Amanda loves building the confidence of the adults in the lives of children so that they can connect meaningfully, help them reach their full potential, and live a life that reflects their values.
Often appearing on Channel 7 and 9 News and regularly featuring in print media, Amanda is on a mission to make the world better for kids through her clinical work, consulting to some of the biggest global toy manufacturers and educating the digital media industry about making the internet safer for kids.
Photo by Tatiana Syrikova